Ahoy! It’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally here, and we at Townhall couldn’t be happier. We’ve been looking for better ways to connect with our audience, particularly our VIP members, and we have finally managed to do it. The first-ever Townhall/Salem Media cruise is happening this November 14 through November 21, 2026, as we sail around the Caribbean right after the midterm elections. It’s the perfect place, the perfect time, and the perfect itinerary with the perfect hosts. You should be part of it. You must be part of it.
There’s a lot to love about this trip, including how organizing a cruise rubs it in the faces of all the Never Trump sissies. But wait, a cruise? Is this ironic or something? See, if you ask Grok who was the guy who invented the term “cruise ship conservatives” – you know, those flaccid Romney-loving losers who used to treat America’s future as a tacky grift – you will find out it was me. And I pioneered the use of the cruise ship emoji on what was then Twitter and is now X. So why am I having any part in this? Because this isn’t going to be a bunch of Zima-swilling femboys parading around the Lido Deck talking about how we need to somehow be less masculine as we help Democrats manage our country’s decline. If you’re looking to hang with Dr. P. Mortimer Wellington-Winthrop III, the Bill Kristol Professor of Beautiful Losing at the University of College, keep walking. We’re about winning. We’re about fun. We’re about owning the libs.
Let me let you in on the lineup. First, there’s me, and I’m, frankly, amazing. I’m going to be there on stage, but I’m also going to be there with you. We’re going to be hanging out, whether it’s having cigars, downing a tropical drink, or just chilling in the sun. This is about meeting the people who’ve made us the top conservative site on the interwebs. You guys are the elite, and it’s time we got together.
Who else? How about my buddy Larry O’Connor? You might know him from such videos as, well, his many, many Townhall videos. He’s also Salem’s national morning radio guy now. Plus, he’s highly amusing in person. Larry and I started out writing for Andrew Breitbart right at the beginning of Big Hollywood. I was on Larry’s first show, a little Internet thing back when he was still calling himself Stage Right Every Thursday night. We would do a show for about 50 people called “The Hour of Hate” with this little guy no one had ever heard of before – Ben Shapiro. You’ve got to hear us talk about the Andrew and the Tea Party years when this all got started. And you will.
Then there’s Mike Gallagher, one of the biggest Salem radio hosts. You know he’s smart because he hasn’t let me guest-host for him in years! Seriously, he’s a great guy, and you’re going to learn a lot from him. Then there’s Jennifer Horn, whom I know from Southern California, where she’s a Salem radio star. Jennifer’s another winner.
Finally, there’s a guy I’ve never met – Scott Jennings – so I’m looking forward to this just for that opportunity. Besides his Salem radio show, Scott’s been killing it on CNN, taking it to the enemy. I’ve got to hear what he has to say from behind the scenes, and so do you.
Oh, there’s more. Much more. Storm Paglia of Townhall will be along. There are some pretty interesting other folks coming along as cruisers. There’s going to be a conservative sommelier aboard, and an impressive military strategist, and I’m going to see if we can leverage them for more antics. You folks are amazing, and you’ve got a lot to say – this is about interaction, and we’re looking forward to it.
So, let me tell you about the cruise. It’s on Holland America Line’s ms Eurodam (It's "ms" because it's a Dutch ship, not a feminist one). Larry cruised on the ms Eurodam before, and he loves it. I cruised on a Holland America sister ship through the Mediterranean, and I loved it. It’s got everything, but what it doesn’t have is a bunch of little kids running around. Little kids are fine, and you’re welcome to bring them, but this is for people who want to focus on culture, laughs, politics, and the week after what I hope is a smashing success in the midterms. If you want to know more about the ms Eurodam, just go to YouTube and search for the name. There are about a million videos in there that’ll give you a tour of the ship. But let me tell you about Holland America – it’s first class. Everything is high-quality, from the cabins to the service to the food to the drinks.
Especially the drinks.
What’s the itinerary? It’s prime. We leave Fort Lauderdale on November 14th. The next day, we’re at Holland America’s private beach in the Bahamas. The third day we’re at sea, and the fourth day we stop by Jamaica, mon. On day five, we hit George Town in the Cayman Islands, and the next day, Cozumel, Mexico. Then it’s back to Fort Lauderdale, docking on November 21st.
Every day we’re going to do events. Every night we’re going to do the ship. This is going to be amazing. And yes, there will be regular mockery of the cruise ship conservatives. Maybe we’ll even have a Bulwark theme night and dress up like pool boys.
This is going to be great. It’s also hopefully going to be the first of many in-person events, including a national Townhall live tour. We need you to help provide proof of concept. Come along on the Townhall/Salem Media cruise and hang out with us; it’s going to be amazing.
Now, everybody will tell you that seats are going fast, and you have to jump in now. Well, seats are going fast, and you have to jump in now – we’re past our minimum bookings and reaching for a record. Act now and secure your berth. This is going to be legendary.
Ahoy! All aboard this Salem/Townhall event! Sign up now!
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