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OPINION

Colbert Finally Makes Us Laugh

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
Townhall Media

Watching Stephen Colbert get fired was amazing and hilarious, but Donald Trump managed to top it by taking credit for it. Well, he didn’t exactly take credit for it, but he said he hoped he was partially responsible. This is classic Trump – splashing a bucket of gasoline on his enemies’ blazing dumpster fire.

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The regime media obediently jumped in to declare that this was yet another example of the growing fascism in America, which is so fascist that its most oppressed people are TV multimillionaires. They don’t want to admit the truth, which is that his show loses money – a lot of money. The barely watched liberal late-night host does have the biggest audience of all the liberal late-night hosts, but that’s akin to being the most popular STD. He and his peers took the model that Johnny Carson and David Letterman made into an unstoppable pop culture tsunami and thoroughly neutered it by ejecting the funny and embracing preachy commie nonsense. They aren’t looking for laughs; they are begging for laughs from their audience of trained seals. The biggest part of Colbert‘s $200 million a year budget(!) – after his massive take and paying the 200(!) people on his swollen staff - was probably for fish to reward his audience for its applause.

I totally voted for this, including the hilarious freakout of everyone involved. The Hollywood paper Variety felt it important to tweet out the headline that Colbert had dropped an F-bomb regarding Trump; I guess when you’ve spent the last decade calling him “Hitler,” you don’t have anywhere else to go. The interchangeable host clique closed ranks around the soon-to-be unemployed Colbert, generating such intense cringe that it registered on the Richter Scale. Beware! The “Late Night Avengers” are springing into action, with that action being acting like spazzes on Colbert’s show. You had to have a heart of stone not to laugh at how Jon Stewart degraded himself dancing around to a gospel chorus, dropping the F-bomb. It was impotence on a level unseen since Valentine’s Day down at The Dispatch.

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Oh, and we’re assured that now the gloves are off until Colbert gets the boot next May. Take that, Donald Trump! He’s going to make homophobic accusations about you and Vladimir Putin even harder, albeit to only about 1 in 150 Americans.

This welcome and joyous development is just one more symptom of the left’s loosening death grip on America. It used to control the political sector, and now it’s been reduced to social media whining as Donald Trump rams through the policies he ran on. This, by the way, is known as “democracy” for those of you who are confused and who don’t understand that we’re actually a republic. 

Socially, we’ve had it with weirdos, losers, and mutations. The era of celebrating the mentally ill and the perverted is sunsetting. Genderkooks went from “Hey, we’re just trying to live our lives” to “You better degrade yourself by using our made-up pronouns, or we will either get you fired or go on a mass murder spree. Oh, and I wanna walk around your daughter’s locker room with my junk hanging out before I steal her first-place trophy.” Yeah, we’re done with that, as well as the mutilation of little kids.

And culturally, we’re winning. The destruction of the late-night monopoly has been going on for a while, with fellow San Mateo kid Greg Gutfeld taking his actually funny late-night show to number one, while the ratings for the rest of his competition are number two. 

Greg’s political, but he’s also funny. Comedy is becoming funny again; for too long, comedy was supposed to teach us things. It was supposed to make us better people. This, of course, is the antithesis of comedy. But we saw that when Hillary Clinton got humiliated in 2016, and Saturday Night Live’s take was to have one of its gender-ambiguous cast members come out and sing a somber version of some insipid sad song that lame people like. But today, Shane Gillis is out there laying waste to everybody – including Trump and conservatives, although the difference is that we conservatives don’t mind. We think it’s funny, but liberals are losing their stuff. When he made fun of the WNBA because the WNBA sucks, the left pretty much had a stroke. You are not allowed to say that! But under Donald Trump, you are allowed to say that. And you’re allowed to say whatever you want, as long as it’s not something that might get you hired at the Lincoln Project, on X thanks to Elon Musk. This is a huge cultural shift. 

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The fact that CBS put a stake through the heart of Colbert is just glorious. You know, there was once a time when bow-tied, virgin conservatives would have worried that perhaps they were creating a cultural environment that oppresses the left. I wish. But the left wants to pretend it’s true because that allows it to avoid facing the fact that the audience has utterly repudiated it. CBS can’t sell enough ads to keep Colbert on the air, not because Donald Trump dislikes Colbert, but because nobody except about 2 million people a night likes Colbert. To put those numbers in perspective, I have about 590,000 Twitter followers. Lying on my bed with my iPhone, I can reach a third of the people Colbert can without 200 flunkies, supplicants, and toe sucks. Think about that. Plus, I have an added advantage that I’m an amusing guy instead of a tiresome scold who thinks having Adam Schiff on the couch for an hour is a late-night guest masterstroke. Johnny Carson never would’ve done that – he’d have had Charro, Joe Namath, and Charles Nelson Reilly on, and it would’ve rocked.

Am I showing my age? No, I’m showing my taste. I prefer my comedy funny, and it’s been years since I had a bigger laugh than watching this loser get canned.

Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter and pre-order Kurt Schlichter’s action-packed new novel, American Apocalypse: The Second Civil War – coming July 17, 2025!

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