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OPINION
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Free Speech Is a Threat to Our Democracy or Something

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin

I find it shocking that Washington Governor Jay Inslee wants to put Stacy Abrams into prison for saying words. But that’s what he wants. Will the Supreme Court allow it? Fat chance. But maybe we should go with it. After all. Changing norms and rules always works out great and never, ever comes back and bites the libs on their Swalwell valve.

AOC got COVID ironically and it’s so weird that the media is ignoring it. I was told – by them – that getting the coronavirus was a statement about your character and so forth. But there’s none of that here. Look, call me crazy, but I think there’s a slight double standard at work. No, really! 

LOCK THE DEMOCRATS UP FOR LYING ABOUT ELECTIONS

Washington state Governor Jay Inslee was always an idiot, but he’s truly outdoing himself. He’s a climate change devotee who now thinks that we should outlaw “lying” about election results. The thinker elaborated on his innovative notion:

“Inslee defended the idea of criminalizing unsupported claims of election fraud and stolen elections — if they're likely to result in violence — as not a violation of freedom of speech.

‘I believe it will be constitutional because we understand this is the type of speech that can promote violence and the courts have held that speech that promotes violence is something that can be regulated to protect a civil society,’ Inslee said.

The governor likened the rhetoric about elections being stolen to ‘yelling fire in a crowded theater.’

Let’s put aside the whole First Amendment problem and the fact it would last as long as a Bulwark staffer in the sack before SCOTUS nuked it. For lawyers who are not idiots or who practice on Twitter (but I repeat myself), it’s a dead giveaway that you are dealing with a moron if you get the “fire in a theater” thing. Let’s focus on putting his proposal into practice. 

Okay, Gov. Inslee, let’s lock not-Gov. Stacy Abrams’ ample rear up for denying the Georgia governor’s election. And I’d say throw that 2016 election-denying crone Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit into the same cell but there would not be room.

Now wait, that’s probably not what he meant. In fact, I am certain of it. He meant this to apply only to people he didn’t like. But this is a crisis of epic proportions – like the weather – and we need to take bold action. We must act immediately, and I propose that I get to decide who is lying.

That’s certainly not what he envisions. But wait, why not? Is he also saying that this is not an objective test, that the person deciding who is lying might be biased? I am so offended. I can be totally neutral. Cross my heart.

I have to say that it is a bit disconcerting to see relatively high government officials trying to toss out the idea of free speech in order to enforce, with the power of people with guns, an official narrative that is the only one allowed to be spoken. But they do support it – they want to be able to put you in prison for saying things they do not approve of. There’s always a reason why this is necessary – it’s a crisis, it’s an emergency, OUR DEMOCRACY IS IN PERIL. And it’s always bullSchiff.

So, when someone tells you that you do not need your guns because there’s no threat of tyranny, just remember that there are senior government officials who want to put you in jail if you speak words they disapprove of. Think about that. Then go buy another box of ammo. 

The alternative is that we go with it. How could giving the government the power to arrest you for speech go wrong? Let’s do it at the federal level too, since it’s such a peril that we must act immediately. And when Donald Trump comes back in 2025 after defeating Montel Williams’s cackling ex-squeeze, his DOJ (this time not run by an establishment sap) can use this new power to protect OUR DEMOCRACY.

That means we would sadly have to send the feds to arrest Gov. Inslee for spewing felony falsehoods. See, he is implying that there was no election fraud in 2020. Except there was. We found, the first night, a dead guy who voted in Nevada. So, it is a lie to say there was no election fraud. There was. The question is how much there was. Gov. Inslee has lied and he must go to prison for this violent insurrection. And if he chooses to identify as a female, he can even join Stacy and Felonia on the cellblock.

AOC GETS COVID

So, arguably the most annoying member of Congress, who might snatch the Number One slot if she marries her brother, got COVID after famously partying mask-free in the Free State of Florida. In the objective scheme of things, the proper response is “Ok, everyone is catching it. No biggie. Get well soon so we can get back to mocking you.”

But in the present environment, her ironic misfortune should be an occasion to relentlessly point out her massive hypocrisy and the universe’s retribution. As we know, because liberals and their legacy media minions have told us, catching COVID is actually a moral judgment, a scarlet letter – “U” for “Unclean.”

Oh wait, she’s a leftist. So, we’re not hearing that. With her, it’s just a thing that happened. That she was ignoring the rules she would impose on everyone else to party in the sun while her district suffers is not news. Some rando radio guy who doubted vaccines (that is, who said before the narrative officially changed what the narrative says right now) gets COVID, and “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” But Pinky the Pinko contracts it doing what she demands we not due and look, tumbleweeds!

The media is garbage, but you knew that.

Until some visionary makes my Kelly Turnbull conservative action thrillers into a series, you’ll just have to read them. The sixth, The Split, shows what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. Get all these action-packed bestsellers, including People's RepublicIndian CountryWildfireCollapse, and Crisis!

My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com.

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