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OPINION

JB Pritzker Promises to Weaponize Government

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JB Pritzker Promises to Weaponize Government
AP Photo/Mark Black

There are few things worse than someone who has had everything handed to them who acts like they’ve somehow earned all of it. We say these people “were born on 3rd base and act like they hit a triple.” I don’t have a problem with inherited wealth, but that, coupled with a sense of entitlement, is too much form. I call it the “Lucky Sperm Syndrome” – the people whose greatest, and often only, accomplishment in life is that they were the sperm that cracked the egg. Illinois Governor JB Pritzker comes to mind.

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Pritzker, whom I affectionately call “Governor Fat B*****d,” after the character in the Austin Powers movies, is someone you can tell hasn’t been told “no” by anyone who could make it stick since he was a kid. An heir to the Hyatt hotel fortune, this accidental billionaire has basically lived off his family’s fortune, “running” businesses he’d start up to pass the time before falling into the business so many other young, lucky sperms wall into: politics.

JB had nothing better to do and no real reason to do anything at all, so he took his entitlement and tried to campaign for Congress in 1998. He spent more than a million dollars – a pittance of his inherited wealth, but a fortune at the time – and came in 3rd out of 5 candidates.

After that, he floundered around the state, taking “jobs” that rich kids get in government that have very little notoriety and even less responsibility, but the titles sound good on a resume. For JB, it was “Chair of the Illinois Human Rights Commission.”

Then he decided to use his ample wealth to run for Governor. Well, walk…slowly…while having trouble breathing (I don’t call him “Fat B*****d” for nothing).

He managed to buy the win and become a loud “progressive” voice for all the left-wing policies that would, if enacted, prevent any other family from amassing a fortune like his did.

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Where to next for GFB? The White House, or at least he hopes.

His “greatest accomplishment” as Governor is “standing up” for criminal illegal aliens, leading to murders, assaults, rapes and any number of other criminal activities harming the American citizens with the misfortune of living in Illinois, so he naturally thinks he deserves a promotion. Only someone who has never earned anything could confuse the concept so spectacularly.

And what would be his agenda, should he become President Fat B*****d? First, he’d probably get rid of the BMI index or obesity standards and roll back any health regulations, getting rid of delicious artificial colors and flavors. After that, it would be revenge.

Not revenge against the people who called him names his whole miserable life at the rich kids' schools he attended, but against anyone who dared displease him by working for the American people in the Trump administration.

He’s come up with “Project 2029,” his answer to the innocuous, horribly messaged, and therefore weaponized “Project 2025,” only completely based on using the power of the federal government to smear, break and imprison anyone who dared displease the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Pritzker told the New York Times, when asked what his little project was about, said, “I don’t think you can speak of it in shorthand, but we’ve got to restore the rule of law, and that means holding people accountable who’ve broken the law. I’m talking about the people in this administration who’ve broken the law and federal agents who’ve broken the law.”

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How did these people break the law? Fat B*****d wasn’t asked because of so-called journalism. They simply asked if they’d be criminally gone after, to which he responded, “Criminally prosecuted, civilly prosecuted. Whatever it is that we can do.”

“Civilly prosecuted”? So, sued? But for what? He wasn’t asked; the next question was about why someone hadn’t used the power of government to go after their political enemies already, apparently unaware of the Obama and Biden administrations – very few people at the New York Times actually follow the news, apparently.

But he’s going to use the government to charge people for crimes he can’t define – “Show me the man and I’ll show you the crime” – and will sue in civil court anyone else with the intent to ruin them financially. Not because they’d stolen government money he’s trying to recoup, but with legal fees since the government’s pockets are endless.

JB Pritzker is Hitler, albeit with a gravitational pull. Or maybe Mao with more chins? Whatever he is, he’s a monster who shouldn’t be any closer to the levers of power than “progressive hero” Cesar Chavez should’ve been allowed near a school. The reasons may be different (as far as we know, so far), but both men are truly gross people.


Derek Hunter is the host of the Derek Hunter Show on WMAL in Washington, DC, and has a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.

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