Before 2024, I don’t really remember hearing the name Jasmine Crockett. I probably did, I can’t believe her stupidity can be contained in one year. But she hit peak idiot in 2025, which means she rose in the esteem of liberals across the country over the last year, which lands her on our list of progressive heroes for the year, naturally.
It’s hard to know where Crockett begins, with 50 pounds of fake hair woven into her head to make Cousin It look bald. Maybe horse hair lowers IQ points? Then again, I can’t imagine anyone could be this stupid without actually trying, and Jasmine’s efforts must be exhausting.
This spoiled rich kid who went to the best private schools her family’s money could buy, code-switches into fake Ebonics when talking to a black audience. Seems weird that someone famous for crying racism over literally everything (defending ideals she doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand is an awful lot like work) would engage in the ultimate racism – assuming minorities can only relate to someone if they speak like an illiterate boob.
Jasmine Crockett speaks with black audiences the way every uptight white guy in a bad Hollywood movie does, only she means it.
As a child, her family sent her to the Mary Institute and Saint Louis Country Day School, an expensive private school with tuition costs currently at $26,530 for elementary school and $37,090 for high school.
Jasmine doesn’t talk much about this, or the fact that her family had the money to blow on her education (or why the public schools in the St. Louis area weren’t good enough for this voucher-opposing moron to attend), she just spends most of her time in public trying to act like she didn’t attend it. Like she grew up on “the streets.” She is the ultimate poverty tourist.
Of course, were anyone other than a Democrat with the loyalty to the party’s agenda being that of an abused dog to do the same thing, Jasmine would cry racism like it was an Olympic event and she was going for the gold. The loudest victims are always the biggest perps, aren’t they?
Now, after having her district go from a gerrymandered easy win for Democrats to one that no longer favors her because of her party, she is quitting. For all the tough talk about being a fighter, she sure is quick to run away from one when it presents itself.
Not wanting to squander the attention she’d weaseled herself into, and preferring to not have to get a real job (there are no current openings on MS Now, plus they don’t hire black people as daily hosts anyway), Crockett is opting for the Stacey Abrams career path.
You’d be surprised how much money you can make as a professional candidate. You can pay yourself a salary, though not a huge one. Still, you can cover almost all of your living expenses, as long as they are “campaign related.” Anyone who’s ever been on a “business lunch” with a friend who says, “Business is good, we’re working on X,” then moves on to quickly announce they will pick up the bill because you discussed business knows how this racket works. Running state wide in Texas will require a car, gas, meals, hotels, clothes, pretty much everything you can imagine – perfectly legal corruption. Then, when she loses, there might be a white person who left MS Now and maybe private school Jasmine could be in the running.
Crockett, in a campaign for Senate email, wrote, “Trump and his Republicans are throwing every insult in the book my way because they know that no matter what, I’ll always stand up for the truth — and nothing terrifies them more than accountability. From blowing open his Epstein cover-up to standing against Republicans’ racist and corrupt attacks on working families across the country, I’ve won some of the toughest fights against Republicans in the House.”
As honest as a Democrat, as loyal as a dog and as dumb as a rock.
Jasmine Crockett has won exactly zero fights in the House, never having had a piece of legislation even come up for a vote, let alone pass and become law. But anyone inclined to give her money has a head full of rocks, thinking she’s done anything other than made-for-TV monologues. She’s like Anthony Weiner was – a TV politician with no accomplishments or original thoughts, only she probably has fewer crotch shot pics sent to kids.
If Jasmine Crockett didn’t exist, Republicans wouldn’t even try to create her because no one would believe she’s real, or other Democrats would cry racism over the character she plays depending on the color of the audience she’s speaking to.
But she does exist, and thank God for that. The real Jasmine Crockett may excite Democrats, but non-political people are turned off by the racist garbage, fake cadence, square yard of horse hair and caterpillar eyelashes and 20 feet of Lee Press-On Nails. She’s actually quite helpful to the GOP, as she is the type of person Americans enjoy voting against.
Congratulations, Jasmine, you're a progressive hero of 2025.
Derek Hunter is the host of the Derek Hunter Show on WMAL in Washington, DC, and has a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.
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