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OPINION

It's Time for Late Night to Call It a Night (Colbert the Bore)

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
"The Late Show" YouTube video: "Puppetry In The First Degree"

The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert just announced that he is not coming back next year. This was earth-shattering news for the Left. President Trump gleefully celebrated the end of this long-running political campaign masquerading as a talking show. Let’s hope that Jimmy Kimmel joins the ash heap of wannabe comedic has-beens.

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People call Colbert a late-night comedian, but for the few times I have sat through any of his commentaries, he was not funny. OK, he was a comedian who made me laugh once, but that was on HBO, when he was a side attraction on The Daily Show. His sister (a Democrat, of course) lost her 2013 special election bid for Congress in South Carolina. He was so mad, he said he would move to NORTH Carolina. HA!

too many of today’s big-name comics with their own flagship shows, there was a bitter censoriousness about Colbert that was all too off-putting. He was never making fun of the big, generic everyday stuff. He was complaining about politics (mostly Republicans, conservatives, common-sense people, anyone who thinks right), and he expected you to laugh just because he was complaining. He was an uptight pencil-neck with rimmed glasses, and he hated Trump.

Funny, right? Sure.

His comedic turn jumped the shark (or should we say, jumped the custard pie? The porcupine?) when he was praising and exhorting us all to get vaxxed. Who can forget his dancing with women (and men?!) dressed as syringes and shouting “Vaccine” instead of “Tequila” during the Tequila song? (At least Pee Wee Herman put on weird shoes and danced on a bar during this song.) I refuse to sit through the whole thing again. I am surprised that Colbert didn’t have enough professional self-respect to remove the video from his social media. No one was laughing in the audience then--or now. And the “Vac-scene” pun? Twenty writers worked on this show, and not one of them could come up with something better.

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LIBERAL MEDIA

If you made me sit through that in a live audience, I would be begging: “Stick me with some cyanide!”

Colbert was a cold bore, and the worst kind: one who either doesn’t know that he is not funny, or doesn’t care because the bottom line is bash the Right. And of course, crank out cracks about how much you hate Trump while fawning over Joe BidenKamala HarrisCory BookerElizabeth Warren, etc. (you get the idea).

Yes, comedians are supposed to tell truth to power, or make fun of the pretensions of the powerful. Instead of hobbling the rich and famous, though, Colbert hobnobbed with them. He was literally dancing to the tune of Democratic politicians like Cringeworthy Chuck Schumer, masked and all. It was worse than watching Elaine from “Seinfeld” dancing, but at least she was funny. He also toasted Biden’s victory with sparkling champagne. Colbert was seriously getting down with the geriatric Democrats who were squandering our nation’s glory and inheritance.

His jokes all amounted to “Orange Man Bad,” and the remaining audience (how few were still watching) would find that entertaining. Instead of being a comedian for the entire country, he pandered to the rich, liberal elites of Los Angeles and New York City. According to the New York Post, he had a “competitive” two million viewership. (Johnny Carson averaged nine million)

Colbert was worse than a bad clown. He was a lame lackey for the Left.

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Then again, it’s not like Colbert was really on anyone’s radar. Truth be told, I have not owned a TV for the last three years, and I don’t miss much. Sure, I don’t get to watch The Simpsons, and for some of the other great sitcoms, I have to search for skits on YouTube. As for Late Night, I never stayed up late to watch the late shows, even when I had a TV.

Well, except when I was in college. I loved watching NBC’s Jay Leno. He was welcoming, witty, and warm, a true successor to Johnny Carson, who reveled in political mockery, but never wearied the audience with policy commentary. With Jay Leno, I loved how he would find real advertisements with some of the most egregious spelling errors, or weird photos with strange—and—very—funny moments in them.

Leno was not political, bitter, self-aggrandizing. He was funny. I know he’s a Democrat—he hosted a fundraiser for Joe Biden—but you could never tell when he was telling jokes. I still think Jay Leno is a great comedian, and he is still working. He does gigs frequently at the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, CA. He knows that he’s in a business, and he is expected to deliver. He is not a bitter pill. He makes you laugh; he makes you happy.

If you wanted something more sardonic and searing, you would watch David Letterman. There was a rancor about the sarcastic weatherman-turned-comic on CBS. But even he made fun of everyone, Democrat and Republican—although towards the end, he started attacking Republicans on specific policy issues. A short time later, Letterman was gone.

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Then there’s Bill Maher. Sure, he lectures people, too, and he’s irritating on many issues. But when he makes fun of Democrats, he is spot-on. He does not hide that he’s a political commentator, either, so that makes him more tolerable.

But then you come back to Stephen Colbert, and his failure is unmistakable. Advertisers weren’t buying up Colbert’s time slots, either. He was costing CBS $50 million a year. 

Does Colbert bear all the blame?

Brian Stelter, formerly of CNN, reported on the larger fact that Late Night itself needs to call it a night, along with many other critics who have noticed a marked decline since Johnny Carson. Americans aren’t watching TV  as much anymore. YouTube gets the views, podcasts cast a wider net for bigger audiences—and for cheap! And you can watch whatever you want whenever.

But being a bore was the biggest killer for Colbert. 

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