Picking the biggest d-bag Democrat is a little like picking the prettiest woman wearing a burqa – you know they exist, or at least assume, but it’s just an impossible task since, thanks to the drapes they’ve covered their bodies with because “men” wouldn’t be able to control themselves otherwise, you have no way to know which one wins. In the case of which Democrat is the worst human being, you have to start with the obvious: every single one of them qualifies; it’s really just a battle of degrees. So let’s take a look at one of the top contenders in the game right now: Mark Kelly
The senior Senator from Arizona is the perfect contrast between resume and execution. On paper, the bald phallus model has the ideal life. He was a fighter pilot, he was an astronaut and the attempted murder of his wife by a crazed leftist brings in a lot of sympathy too. But his character made him lose out to being chosen as running mate for Kamala Harris to a guy who lied about his military service and his even his high school football coaching job.
How big a scumbag do you have to be to lose out to a guy who lied about his rank and serving in combat? As you might imagine, it involves his fidelity to something important, and it isn’t the truth.
These are just rumors, of course, as far as the general public knows. The Harris campaign paid people to dig beneath the rumors; what they found remains their little secret. It is, however, worthy of note that while they have expressed disappointment over picking Fraudie Murphy, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, no one has ever expressed regret about NOT picking Mark Kelly. It’s the difference between being upset over your fantasy football quarterback being injured in week one and using your first round draft pick to choose Arron Hernandez.
Kelly might be the only person I’ve ever heard brag about their service in the first Gulf War. Not that there wasn’t danger or it is something those who served shouldn’t be proud of, but it was very short and the Iraqi military turned out to be significantly less a threat than was publicly thought prior to the war.
Still, Kelly did fly his planes and drop his bombs, so there’s that. Still, he talks about it like it was Midway.
Then he went to space, which is cool. He delivered a lot of cargo as a Space Shuttle pilot. I’ve never heard any other Space Shuttle pilot talk about their service like they’d cured a disease like Kelly does, they downplay it. It’s not like being an intergalactic Door Dasher, but still…
Kelly then retired from NASA to focus on his family, especially since his wife had been horribly injured when a lunatic tried to kill her at a public event. He wanted to help her write her book and focus on spending time with his family, according to him at the time.
After a few years, Kelly made a bunch of money off China and had had enough of his family, so he decided to run for the Senate on his biography and the attack on his wife. He won because his biography, on paper, is impressive, and the attack on his wife was horrible.
Since winning, Mark Kelly has served without distinction. A few self-serving laws regarding Arizona Indian tribes and “co-sponsoring” bills that became law – which is literally the least a Member of Congress can do – and that’s about all he’s done.
He is still milking his military service, only this time in an attempt to undermine the chain of command. It’s gross, really.
Mark Kelly now spends his days kissing the asses of wealthy Democrat donors, sucking up to celebrities and trying to bilk poor people out of what remains on their high-interest credit cards in the hope of running for president in 2028. See, while being a sketchy guy with low character is a disqualifying trait as a running mate, there is no background check when it comes to winning a party’s nomination.
All the while, he ducks behind his disabled wife every time righteous and justified criticism is hurled his way. It’s gross. He’s gross. He’s also the most frequent emailer to fundraising lists on the left.
He has sent 13 emails begging for money since December 2nd, with subject lines like “I will not give up on our country” and “President Trump is calling for me to be hanged.” The bald bag of douche is desperate to exploit his popularity among the hate America crowd. It’s hard to feel bad for morons being conned out of their money, but it does add a level of scumbagery when the guy doing it spends his time insisting he’s a hero, a sentiment no person not on his payroll appears to share.
Mark Kelly is the perfect Democrat: a shameless self-promoter, perfectly willing to take money from anyone, shady and sleazy business and personal history and quick to duck behind his wife when anyone calls him out on any of it. I’d peg Kelly’s chances of securing the Democratic nomination at this point at about 27 percent.
Derek Hunter is the host of the Derek Hunter Show on WMAL in Washington, DC, and has a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.
