Tipsheet

Australia and Sweden Teamed Up for the Most Unnecessary Scientific Study of All Time

Amy Curtis
Amy Curtis  |  April 24, 2026 8:00 AM

Sometimes we wonder what scientists are thinking when they publish studies like this. There's a process to this research, and it starts with someone asking a question, and that means someone, somewhere, wanted to know what happened when salmon were exposed to cocaine.

Now we know. They swim farther.

Here's more:

Joint research released Monday by scientists at Australia's Griffith University and the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences studied how the drug affected the movements of wild fish in their natural habitats.

Researchers took 105 wild Atlantic salmon in Sweden's Lake Vattern and exposed them to both cocaine and benzoylecgonine — a metabolite created by the drug in the liver — and then tracked their movements.

They found the river-dwellers exposed to the drugs traveled 1.9 times farther per week than their clean-living control cousins.

Those exposed to the by-product also swam 7.6 miles farther, the study found.

Yet as ridiculous as this seems, there's a reason for it: the U.N. reports that roughly 25 million people use cocaine and it's being found in waterways. That will impact how animals behave.

That didn't stop social media from having some fun commenting on this study.

Thankfully, no.

Australian and Swedish taxpayers, on the other hand, did pay for this.

Cocaine is, after all, a stimulant. It works by blocking the reuptake of dopamine and other neurotransmitters like norepinephrine and serotonin in the brain, leading to a feeling of euphoria and heightened alertness, increased energy, and reduced appetite.

Probably.

Exactly this.

Seafood is delicious.

The "Cocaine Bear" sequel will be interesting.

So did we.