Tipsheet

Unreal: Teens Who Assaulted Ex-DOGE Staffer 'Big Balls' Get No Jail Time

Amy Curtis
Amy Curtis  |  October 15, 2025 11:30 AM

Back in August, former DOGE staffer Edward "Big Balls" Coristine was beat up by "youths" in Washington, DC after he intervened in a carjacking.

It was this attack that pushed President Trump to federalize Washington, DC law enforcement. In a post on Truth Social, the President wrote, "Crime in Washington, D.C., is totally out of control. Local “youths” and gang members, some only 14, 15, and 16-years-old, are randomly attacking, mugging, maiming, and shooting innocent Citizens, at the same time knowing that they will be almost immediately released. They are not afraid of Law Enforcement because they know nothing ever happens to them, but it’s going to happen now!"

Earlier this month, Ted Cruz slammed Democrats over their soft-on-crime policies, saying, "Democrat crime policies kill people. Soros DAs who let murderers out of jail kill people." Cruz is correct. Democrats pass policies and appoint judges who are soft on crime.

And the teens who assaulted Coristine are proof of that. Despite the violent attack that was allegedly part of an attempted carjacking, they were sentenced to probation:

Here's more from the New York Post:

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Two teenagers who jumped former DOGE staffer Edward “Big Balls” Coristine have avoided jail after pleading guilty to simple assault at a Washington, DC, court.

The boy and girl, both 15, from Hyattsville, Maryland, were sentenced to probation at a DC court on Tuesday, just over two months after the pair were arrested for the savage Aug. 3 attack, WUSA9 reported.

The boy was handed a 12-month probation and allowed to return home under strict house arrest, while the girl was given a nine-month probation and remanded to a local youth shelter.

What makes this story even worse is the fact that their accomplices remain at large.

Speaking via video, Coristine told his attackers, "I hope you can figure things out and be ready for the consequences."

As one X user noted, the two teens who were convicted didn't have to name their accomplices in order to get such a light sentence.

This seems to be a fundamental miscarriage of justice.

"Violence against conservatives is de facto legal," PoliMath writes, "I need my lib friends to really understand this: These people know they will not suffer consequences for their violence. Things that are not punished are de facto legal."

This applies not just to crimes against conservatives -- although those are a special kind of 

Another X user added, "The judiciary will have no one to blame but themselves when it all comes crashing down."

Senator Mike Lee also caught wind of the story and posted about it, including tagging United States attorney for the District of Columbia, Jenine Pirro.

We'll see what she says, and if actual justice will be served in this case.