TOWNHALL EXCLUSIVE -- MUST CREDIT: Despite viral online posts and rampant rumors, Townhall Media's Fact-Checking and Counter-Misinformation Team finds no concrete evidence that Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz -- tapped to join the Democratic presidential ticket on Tuesday -- has had sex with a traffic cone. The unconfirmed reports were shared on social media by prominent media personalities, who appeared to suggest the claim was made in jest. But as these uncorroborated reports continue to swirl, we have been unable to unearth any definitive proof on this matter, in either direction. Though these claims were shared without evidence, we cannot rule out the possibility that Tim Walz has, in fact, had sex with a traffic cone. If it is true that Tim Walz had sex with a traffic cone, it is unclear when or where the alleged sexual act took place. The possible misinformation about Tim Walz having sex with a traffic cone did not specify how large the traffic cone in question was, nor did the viral accusations detail how the physical act took place. We officially rate the claim that Tim Walz had sex with a traffic cone, which critics blasted as "weird" and "perverted," as UNVERIFIED. Added context: As of publication, Neither Kamala Harris nor Tim Walz has denied that Walz had sex with a traffic cone.
Editor's Note: For those of you who are completely lost reading the paragraph above, our "fact check" is in response to a running 'joke' on the Left that JD Vance had sex with a couch -- which was invented out of whole cloth and posted online. It rocketed around social media weeks ago, with major media personalities, late night television hosts, and even sitting Senators leaning into the false rumor. For giggles. They'd all decided Vance was "weird," as a hive mind talking point, so why not have some "fun" with the "good" kind of misinformation (the sort that embarrasses Republicans and helps Democrats)? The Associated Press produced a fact check of the viral invention, thus repeating and spreading the debasing rumor further, even while facially debunking it. They later took it down. Taxpayer-funded NPR got in on the action, exploiting the occasion to somehow criticize Elon Musk. Alleged traffic cone fornicator Tim Walz even worked it into his Vice Presidential introductory speech yesterday:
Walz on Vance: I can’t wait to debate the guy. That is, if he’s willing to get off his couch and show up. pic.twitter.com/1nEBAekXw0
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 6, 2024
Big laugh from the partisan crowd (they are all in on this widespread joke, which is based on a total fabrication), as well as from the Democratic presidential nominee herself -- who evidently has the time to be read in on Vance-had-sex-with-a-couch punchlines, but not to answer any questions, on any subject, for weeks at a time. All of this prompted Mary Katharine Ham to post the following (language warning), with my follow-up:
Yes, yes, I know, you’re a prude who can’t take a joke if you point out that telling lies about a public figure fucking an inanimate object is bad and juvenile. And it’s such a fun trick bc the public figure can’t defend against it without elevating it and debasing themselves!
— Mary Katharine Ham (@mkhammer) August 7, 2024
I mean, for all his faults, at least Joe Biden stuck to *ice cream* cones — and not stuck THAT way, amirite?? Maybe Vance can start working this into his speeches. Some misinformation is fun!
— Guy Benson (@guypbenson) August 7, 2024
I would never seriously assert that Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Tim Walz had sex with one or more traffic cones. In fact, I've done my Journalistic Duty by exploring and casting doubt on the UNVERIFIED claim that Tim Walz had sex with a traffic cone -- which would be weird and gross, if true. And it's kind of funny to laugh about, right? What a dirty old man. Maybe JD Vance can start mentioning it in his public remarks, since those appear to be the new rules. But as a reminder, there is no solid evidence proving that it's true. For now, it's not fair to say with confidence that Tim Walz had sex with a traffic cone. I'll leave you with a slightly altered quote from leftist commentator John Oliver, whose work is sometimes categorized as comedy: "I've never seen someone with more traffic cone f***er energy. Until he tells us otherwise, I'm gonna assume that Tim Walt f***ed a traffic cone." Such humor!
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