This is an open letter to California Gov. Gavin Newsom.
Dear Gavin,
Can I call you Gav? Sure? Thanks.
Gav, we have a problem.
See, it's not just that you're a commie dirtbag who has lived a privileged life and who genuinely thinks the rules shouldn't apply to you, or that you had an expensive dinner out while the rest of your state was locked down in their homes was troubling, to say the least, which would be ample reason to despise you all on its own.
But recently, you've really been crossing the line with me.
How, you may ask? Well, it seems that you keep trying to use dyslexia as a campaign point, a means to try and present yourself as a man of the people to black audiences who you don't think can read either, or to shield yourself from criticism as being historically illiterate.
The reason this bothers me is that I, too, have dyslexia. I was diagnosed as a child and have dealt with it my whole life. Despite that, I've spent the last decade using the English language to make a living and support my wife and two children. I struggle at times, sure, because dyslexia is a real thing.
But you've taken it to the point that it's laughable.
You've previously bragged about reading books in a couple of hours, but you take being called "historically illiterate" by Sen. Ted Cruz to be an attack on your dyslexia, which seem to be mutually exclusive positions. It can't be so debilitating that you can't be criticized for being a moron, yet it doesn't impede you in doing the one thing dyslexia does, namely, making it harder to read.
To be sure, dyslexia comes in various severities, but if you can openly brag about reading a decent-sized book in just a couple of hours, you don't get to pretend you can't read because of this horrific learning disability.
Moreover, you're making the rest of us look bad.
In fairness, having a learning disability I suffer from – and successfully deal with daily – tied to your policies in any way is embarrassing enough, but you pretending you can both appeal to minorities but are shielded from criticism because of it is beyond stupid.
Yes, stupid.
Your lack of intelligence has nothing to do with dyslexia. If anything, it's from the progressive brain rot you've suffered from since you were a zygote. Dyslexic people of the world would kindly appreciate it if you'd stop invoking the condition.
We don't want people to wonder if a problem where letters jump around the page we're reading somehow makes us leftist morons simply because you're trying to position yourself both as the poster child for the condition and the next Democratic nominee for president.
Frankly, you owe all of us with dyslexia an apology for trying this stunt. Then again, you owe the entire human race an apology for existing, at least based on your tenure in public office.
I will say that if you're the best the Democrats can manage in 2028, that's going to be a surefire way to keep the White House in Republican hands for the foreseeable future.
Until then, kindly stop doing, well, everything you're doing, but especially using dyslexia as a shield. You're clearly the reason the aliens don't want to visit, and the rest of us want ray guns.
Hugs and kisses,
Tom
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