There are many simple “fixes” to things in life that will improve basics or just relieve stress. Some are obvious: avoid girls with septum piercings and unnaturally colored hair, as they have daddy issues and will always lead to something involving bail money. Others are less obvious: if you love the food at a small, local Chinese restaurant, avoid looking into the kitchen. Still, there are some things you’ve likely never thought about before, so I wanted to talk about a couple of them here.
First, avoid anyone with no inner monologue.
I don't mean that you should ditch friends who have no filter or speak bluntly. I mean, don’t let your kids near a teacher who thinks the world, through their TikTok account, needs to hear their every thought on whatever has the unshowered, virgin, mutant progressive mob upset that day. These people are posting racist, anti-American, anti-Semitic, anti-cop rants that, at a disturbingly high rate, call for the murder of everyone from the average beat cop to the President of the United States. You will make their list, should they ever obtain power.
The odds, however, of them gaining power are long. Part of being mentally defective is that you can’t control yourself, and these people can’t blend in with normal human beings. Here are some signs to look for to help you avoid these people:
- Year-round lawn signs about whatever is fashionable on the left. They usually read “Hate has no home here” or “No person is illegal,” which are both ironic because they’d happily set your home on fire if they thought they could get away with it. They make you want to put out a “Hate rents a room in my basement” sign on your lawn.
- They post more pictures of illegal aliens and videos of themselves crying about what Rachel Maddow lied about in her one day of work per week than they do about their kids, if they have any. This is probably because their kids hate them and illegal aliens don’t, or at least they can’t understand them when others speak Spanish at rallies to “free” some random gang member from ICE custody.
- They have a progressive flag in their classroom or anywhere. There are warnings for flashing lights and “historical smoking” on movies, but this seizure-inducing vomit rag has so many colors and symbols on it for various groups of weirdos and sexual deviants that there isn’t a human being alive who can fully explain what they are. While it can be fun to watch them try, there’s a possibility one of these people will bite your finger off, so the possible laugh isn’t worth the rabies shots.
Second – and this could be a subset of the first one, but warrants its own section – anyone who tells you their pronouns. Be they in an email signature or something that comes out of their mouths, do not let these mutants into your world.
The pronoun Nazis always as “What harm is it to address someone with their preferred pronouns?” None, but I’m still not going to do it. I will not bastardize our language for the fragile psyche of an unstable control freak. No one refers to anyone by a pronoun when they’re talking to them, aside from “you.” This is about controlling HOW you talk about them when they’re not around, and it empowers other passive/aggressive leftists to police your speech when you don’t obey.
I don’t play that game – you are not now, nor will you ever be a third person plural, no matter how much you cry about it. In keeping with my “never hire anyone it would be a lawsuit to fire” policy, I am grateful these people can’t control themselves, as it makes avoiding them completely that much easier.
Third, anyone who insists that gender is a social construct who exclusively dates or has married people of the opposite sex. They insist gender is fluid and can’t define what a woman is, but become a gynecologist when it comes to who they’ve gone to bed with. For all the screwing around Bill Clinton, Hunter Biden and Gavin Newsom have done, they never ended up in bed with a dude, even if they wore a dress – and they would all sleep with anything in their day.
I can have sympathy for people with gender dysphoria and contempt for liberals indulging that disorder rather than helping them get through it. Either way, your life is better with these moral peacocking hypocrites in it.
Lastly, this doesn’t have anything to do with politics, but the world would be a better place if the NFL moved the Super Bowl to Saturday.
I don't care about Bad Bunny; the halftime show is for 13-year-old girls and dumb people with no taste and those who have no one to talk with during the break. I don’t speak Spanish, nor do I want to – sounds like baby talk wired on cocaine – nor do I care if he wears a dress. If he dropped dead today, it wouldn’t impact my life any more than his would be impacted if I did, so I won’t care about whatever he does because I have better things to do.
But the game on Saturday makes sense for the simple reason that the Monday after will never be a holiday, nor should it be. The sponsors of the game would make more money because they’d sell more food and drinks if people didn’t have to wake up in the morning for work, so the NFL could charge even more for ads. Plus, the post-game show could go later, which means even more ads.
The main reason, however, is that Super Bowl parties could go longer – no need to rush out right after the game, viewers could have some afterglow. Considering all the crap happening on a daily basis in the world, who couldn’t use an extra beer or two with the time to sleep it off in the morning?
These are just a few of the simple things you can do to improve the quality of your life – that most of them involve avoiding liberals isn’t a coincidence. I highly recommend you implement as many as you can and incorporate any others you come up with along the way. You get one trip in this life, why let horrible people waste any of it?
Derek Hunter is the host of the Derek Hunter Show on WMAL in Washington, DC, and has a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.