Well, it’s finally here – the day that seemed to take forever to arrive and was over in a blip when you were a kid: it is Christmas. First off, Merry Christmas. Hope it’s a good one. Second, as you slip into a food coma or spend all afternoon looking for missing pieces of some Lego set or trying to consolidate boxes, take a moment and reflect on the year that just was and thank God that you’re not a Democrat.
I get it, Christmas day might not be the time for such things, but I’ve moved beyond caring. These people have been so universally horrible in words and deeds that I can’t force myself to pretend to care anymore. Somewhere out there is a family being annoyed by some leftist pile of post-digested food who can’t stop talking about how Trump did something or other that is a “threat to democracy.” Since the odds of them choking on a turkey bone are slim, and you’d likely dislodge it and save their life if they did, you’re probably in the same “not giving a damn” boat I am.
I’m lucky in that there won’t be any liberals at my house; the family we’re having over are rational conservatives. Still, I will pour a little out for those unfortunate enough to have a sister who married a mutant or a brother whose girlfriend has multiple face piercings. My thoughts are with you on this day.
As for me, I fully expect to watch the Detroit Lions be eliminated from the playoffs this afternoon, but you never really know. My whole life, they have displayed an amazing ability to wait until the very last minute to let everyone down and this year they may do that again. It’s what you get used to growing up in Detroit. Though the anger this year is more understandable, as they’re actually achieving below their skill level more so than the other way around.
Let’s have a look at what I suspect Democrats are doing on this day.
Whatever happens, I will be thankful that somewhere out there, whoever has the misfortune of having Christmas dinner with Jasmine Crockett is picking huge chunks of fake hair out of their stuffing and has a giant fake eyelash in their cranberry sauce.
Do you think Eric Swalwell is having Chinese food for Christmas dinner, or do his handlers let him have this meal? Fang Fang probably lets him off the hook, as she takes yet another Silkwood shower, as the reality of what she had to do to get him on the hook still haunts her dreams.
Gavin Newsom is likely making his family wait, and the food gets cold, as he fixes his hair so he can look good to himself in the upside-down reflection in his spoon. At least he’s not visiting his chief of staff’s wife (again).
Hakeem Jeffries is looking stoned because he always looks stoned. He’s also likely yelling something about Donald Trump. Ok, not yelling – that requires energy – so probably just mumbling something about him. No one listens when the man talks anyway, so what difference does it make?
AOC is thinking something stupid. That’s it. Nothing more to it and a qualifier like “might be” in there, it’s just what she does.
Nancy Pelosi is raising a glass in memory of her sister, who died in a tragic accident that saw a house fall on her. She’s also (likely) recovering from her annual re-tying of her ears together behind her head (allegedly). Whatever the case, she’s horrible.
Meanwhile, Bill and Hillary Clinton are likely with the people they love most, with Bill off with whoever his current girlfriend is and Hillary eating alone. Neither are worried in the least by any of the compromising and semi-clothed pictures of Bill his good friend and world travel buddy, Jeffrey Epstein, had all over his possessions.
Barack Obama is miserable, having to spend another year with Michelle, and Joe Biden doesn’t remember what Christmas is.
Whatever you’re doing, be very grateful you are not one of them. Sure, the money would be nice, but having to sell your soul to get it, or having to compromise everything decent, is a price too high. Be glad you’re you and how you are.
Merry Christmas.
Derek Hunter is the host of the Derek Hunter Show on WMAL in Washington, DC, and has a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.