I've been out of the game for about a quarter century. When I met Irina, it was the way normal people met their wives – at a friend's wedding. I think I went on one Internet date, and that was through some AOL chat room. No Tinder. No Bumble. And certainly no Grindr. It was the age when talking to a chick somewhere wasn't tantamount to assault. We were definitely not incels. We didn't know what the hell incels were.
That all changed during the ensuing quarter century. The current romantic nightmare for young people is the fallout of decades of leftist pathology in our society. It has essentially ruined the mate market for this generation. According to the statistics, kids don't go out much anymore. They don't party. They don't date. They can barely conduct a conversation with each other. That's not surprising because feminism teaches that anytime a man acts like a man and talks to a chick, he's channeling Ted Bundy.
But some of it has to do with chicks' attitudes toward guys – if you're not Instagramable, you're not dateable. You better be tall, you better be thin, you better be rich, and you better take her someplace exotic where she can do an awesome selfie. But that only seems to apply to guys. Apparently, body positivity, body modification, and a lack of body shaming have led to far too many women allowing themselves to become, frankly, gross. Many of them also become obnoxious – young men tell me a lot of women today are terrible. Not all of them – there are some great conservative ladies out there. There's gold in them thar hills; you just have to do a lot of panning. The rest? Yikes. Some are just skanky and have nose rings, while the whole girlboss vibe is one great big ED generator.
Let's not let the guys off the hook. Between Internet perversions, pot, and video games, we've created a generation of young males who don't feel compelled to go out and get themselves a chick like we used to do. We would totally talk to random girls in bars, at work, wherever. Sure, sometimes they shot you down, but who cares? There were two more coming along behind her, and they were probably hotter. We weren't emotionally fragile. If one girl didn't like you, who cares? She's someone else's problem. Start talking to her friend.
But apparently, young people don't talk to each other in person anymore. Fortunately, there is help. Unfortunately, it is coming from someone from our generation. And that's terrible, because our generation really has no idea what it's talking about. This is a very different world from the one we grew up in. We can be cavalier about how inept young people are today, but it's not clear at all that telling them just to do what we did is going to solve the problem. Guys acting like we did – hitting on girls was not a felony then – are going to get themselves Internet shamed if they don't get arrested. So, what do young people do?
Well, I hope they don't listen to Bill Ackman. You remember Bill, the billionaire liberal donor, who was stunned to find that his liberal friends all hated Jews and wanted them to die after October 7. He started paying attention and found that the institutions he had been giving zillions of dollars to were petri dishes of leftist social pathology. Now, he's no conservative, but the fact that he's not a complete woke leftist makes him code right-wing, and those nine zeros mean that people are going to listen to him. That's why his X feed gets play.
And what's his advice to young men? I'm not kidding about this. This is really what he said. Young men should approach women in bars and ask, "May I meet you?"
I want to repeat that because you just snorted at how stupid that sounds. He says young men should approach women and ask, "May I meet you?" I'm serious. Here's him saying it.
What kind of lunacy is this? What's the basis of his strategy? Is he targeting girls who want to be in a Jane Austin novel? Has a line this lame ever worked and recorded history to get you anything but laughed at?
Look, I'm sure it works for him. When you're a billionaire, you can say literally anything and it's freaking genius. "Would you like to come back to my mansion and look at my etchings?" is going to score him hotties. The only thing that Bill Ackman could say that could keep him from getting chicks is, "I'm going bankrupt."
To be fair, Bill points out he used this innovative technique when he was poor; of course, what a billionaire considers poor is likely different than what the rest of us consider poor. And who knows, maybe you'll meet a girl (or guy – he suggests women give it a try) who is into insane people and thinks this approach is great.
Now, for those who aren't billionaires, I'm afraid I don't have the answer. I wish I could share my wisdom and solve their problems, but I'm wise enough to know that young people really don't need to hear from me. I came from another time and from another America, and both were better than this one.
But if I were asked for advice, I'd probably tell them to be cool. Don't be a jerk. Don't be a creep. Be pleasant. Be smart. Be funny. And remember, if you can fake those things, you too might end up getting married to a hot girl just like I did.
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