This is Gavin Newsom’s time to shine, and by “shine,” I mean, make a damn fool of himself. The Patrick Bateman-channeling goof – you just know he listens to a lot of Phil Collins – is an idiot, sure, but he does possess a kind of animal cunning, and he’s got endless money from the rich libs who pull his strings. This makes him potentially dangerous in the sense that anyone at the head of a political party’s ticket could conceivably win an election. Sure, he’s gunning for 2028 – though his views on guns are notoriously negative – and he thinks he’s going to ride his gerrymandering crusade into the nomination. He wants to be the Democrat who fights, except he hits and pulls hair like a girl.
His latest flex is trying to mimic Trump’s unique vibe, right down to the all-cap tweets. To call it “cringe” is to be kind; remember when President Rubio tried that in 2016? But he has a whole social media team crafting this crap; in the meantime, so many of us are abandoning the Golden-Brown State – Gavin inspired the Poo Map – for new lives in America. The latest is to compare a pic of him as a slick rich kid high schooler with one of poor kid J.D. Vance looking awkward – Gavin’s savvy political instincts have him playing James Spader in every 80s movie and thinking that’s going to score him points with the normies.
I don’t know if his gerrymandering scheme is going to work or not. California’s independent redistricting commission (sic) has already thoroughly gerrymandered the state such that it’s even worse now than Texas will now that its Democrats have crawled home and surrendered even as they declare victory. After all, that’s the new thing. Declare victory regardless of how humiliating your defeat. Remember how Trump had the National Guard come out and finally made Los Angeles peaceful? A couple of months later, those National Guardsmen were released from active duty, and Governor Hairstyle took to X to proclaim that Trump had somehow backed down. I wonder if this actually works on anyone. Normal people look at this kind of obvious nonsense, shake their heads, and go about their business. Do Democrats chalk this up as a big win? “Hey, Trump fought Newsom for three months, got done what he wanted done, and then let the guys doing it go home. Way to go, Gavin!”
Gavin isn’t really a politician. He’s pure appetite, the wanting being the entirety of his being. There’s nothing else there. It’s not that he’s an empty suit. He’s less than that. He’s a black hole of pure unfocused ambition, which is to say, he sucks hard. And the people of California know that, not least of all his own voters. If you look at what happened in Pacific Palisades, where about 90 percent of the people burned out of their houses cast to vote for the human hairdo, you see that those folks are being royally screwed. There have barely been any permits to rebuild seven months later, and the local bureaucrats are already getting turgid at the thought of all the new requirements they’re going to place on people to rebuild their homes, requirements that are going to cost a fortune and price many of these Democrat voters out of ever returning to their property. If they ever do return, their new neighbors in high-density housing are going to be the kind of Section 8 losers who make up so much of the Democrat constituency. Well done, liberals, you’ve played yourselves.
I wish I could say these people will go to the ballot box and make the Democrats pay next time, but they won’t. They will eagerly and obediently cast their vote for the same people making their lives a living hell. They’ve been told, and chose to believe, that Donald Trump is Hitler reborn and that it is much, much more important to keep Donald Trump from doing things like cutting taxes, establishing law and order, restoring America’s reputation around the globe, and expelling the huge chunk of the Third World that’s decided to infest our country than to protect their own interests. Oh well. As I often say, I’m not capable of caring more about people than they care about themselves.
Recommended
This gerrymandering scheme, which is going to be his marquee achievement when he goes to the Democrats in search of their nomination in two years, is not a done deal. There are some inconvenient things in the way, obstacles like the California Constitution and state law. Now, he’s got the Supreme Court in his pocket, and it will rule however he wants. The law stuff is not going to stop him. There is a requirement that the independent commission pushed by ex-Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, infamous for his maid-tapping, be negated by a vote of the people in order to have a redistricting between censuses. That’s why they’re going to have to have a referendum in November, and there’s no guarantee that the Democrats will win it. Schwarzenegger himself is opposed to the referendum, and he’s going to campaign against it. It’s nice to see him finally standing up to a Democrat forthrightly instead of passive aggressively, you know, like by hitting the help to spite his skeletal Kennedy former wife.
Will it be enough? Who knows? There are a lot of Republicans in California – in fact, there are more Republicans in California than in any other state, a function of California being our largest state. These off-year special elections are notably poorly attended. That is, regular people probably won’t show up unless they’re motivated to do so. Maybe the Republicans will be motivated to turn out. A lot of Democrats won’t, despite many of them not having a job because they are welfare cheats. There’s a possibility that this referendum will fail; polls today show majority opposition to it. But there are going to be hundreds of millions of dollars spent by all the leftist money groups to try to convince people to turn out to gerrymander the state further. It may work, but if it doesn’t work, Gavin Newsom’s going to be completely shafted. He’s going to look even more impotent than he does already, especially after losing his ex-wife to Donald Trump Jr. Maybe that’s why he hates Trump, having been so thoroughly humiliated by his son.
In the meantime, Gavin Newsom is continuing with his ridiculous and juvenile social media war against Trump. What’s funny about it is not the content – it’s pedestrian and stupid, the kind of thing that doesn’t make you laugh, but if you agree with him, you politely clap like you’re watching Colbert from the audience.
What’s funny about it is that Trump doesn’t care. It’s like Newsom is not even on his radar. How lame do you have to be for Trump not to bother to tweet about you even to mock you? That makes you lower than Rosie O’Donnell, as if that’s possible. If Trump were worried about him, you’d be hearing about him. And I trust Trump’s instincts.
Although somebody, and it may have been Trump or one of his people, did do something hilarious that caused Newsom to spaz out in public. Somebody sent Newsom a red Trump 2028 hat. That’s perfect. It’s the distillation of the utter contempt we should all have for California’s ridiculous governor.
Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter and order Kurt Schlichter’s action-packed new novel, American Apocalypse: The Second Civil War out now!
Get Kurt Schlichter and Irina Moises’s noir fantasy novel, Lost Angeles: Silver Bullets On The Sunset Strip! Also, check out Kurt’s Kelly Turnbull People’s Republic series of conservative action novels.
My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com
