The Democrats have stopped bothering to conduct politics; they prefer to engage in max-cringe performance art, and it’s unclear who their audience is. Maybe it’s each other, since this festival of onanism is designed for them to shamefully pleasure themselves while accomplishing nothing. It sure can’t be for the benefit of normal people. For one thing, normal people aren’t on X looking at senators’ social media feeds. For another thing, normal people have better things to do than listen to the tantrums of tedious government functionaries shilling for the dismal side of those proverbial 80/20 issues. It’s hard to get people upset about deportations when people dig deportations, and the more deporty the better.
Yet they’re out there anyway, whining on videos, whining on TV shows, whining in congressional committees, whining, whining, whining, always whining. But who’s listening? This reminds me of those perennially unemployed actors who rent out a 99-seat non-equity theater for their one-man show, then invite/guilt all their friends to come watch them talk on stage for 90 minutes about how their daddy didn’t love them. You’re not going because you want to. You’re going because it’s a painful duty. And what a painful duty it is to watch these Democrats caper and cavort in their own individual productions of “Donald Trump Lives Inside My Head.”
They all seem to have the same producer and director. It’s always the same style and the same message – some hack Democrat consultant is getting rich, perhaps the same one who made $20 million convincing the party to send Jabba the Lib out to win over young men.
Some unlucky staffer with an iPhone videos the Dem pol as he/she/xe stands there holding one of those little lapel mics in his/her/xir hand like some TikTok influencer sounding off with exactly the same stupid sound bites as every other donkey backbencher. There’s a daily script with the same message. And it’s a stupid message, like that Donald Trump is ripping innocent immigrant families apart because of his inherent meanness. Well, some families should be ripped apart, and if you’re one of the Michoacán Mansons, like the father of the year Maryland Man who dabbled in murder, human trafficking, wife beating, and dirty pictures of little kids, you need to get the hell out of our country. Dropping guys like that off in their Third World hellhole of origin instead of dropping them out of the open door of a helicopter is the moderate solution.
The other cliché du jour is a video clip of the pol bleating in fussy outrage over a failed visit to one of the ICE houses. These dumpy losers show up at some detention center to demand entrance, and the ICE agents – who are almost all working-class minority guys – basically tell them to go pound sand. At that point, the Democrat stares into the camera and cries about how they’re just trying to do oversight and how this is the worst thing Literal Hitler has done since the last thing Literal Hitler did. They think this is a power move, but all it does is demonstrate a level of impotence unseen since the last Bulwark staffer’s wedding night.
And then there are the videos where some pinko politician decides to either charge at a government official while screaming like a lunatic – probably not a great idea in light of recent events – or get in a tussle with ICE agents as they attempt to haul away some Third World intruder scumbag. And it’s always some obscure politician trying to make a name for himself; when alleged Senator Alex Padilla – or is it Jose? – charged Kristi Noem, most people’s response was, “Who?” Of course, Literal Hitler is literally Hitlerer for protecting government officials and arresting people who interfere with cops. Cue conservatives to head to X to dig up tweet after tweet of the offending Democrat and his reflexive defenders solemnly reciting that no one is above the law.
And there’s my own governor, Gavin Hairstyle, who seems to be spending all his time on Twitter twitting pointlessly about Donald Trump, who, for his part, keeps racking up win after win. Just the other day, the Ninth Circuit – yeah, that Ninth Circuit – disrespected Newsom and his ridiculous legal arguments about who controls the California Army National Guard so completely and decisively that it made Dresden in 1945 look like Disneyland, except with fewer dumpy incel adult losers trying to relive their miserable childhoods. So, what did Gavin do? He put out a tweet claiming victory. His defeat was so comprehensive that he would’ve had to do vastly better to achieve even a Pyrrhic victory, which is the worst kind of victory to have.
Then you get all these Democrats sounding off about the Big Beautiful Bill and how it’s going to help out the billionaires. I don’t know many billionaires who bring me patty melts at the diner and are somehow going to cash in on my tax-free tips. This is so transparently stupid that you wonder who it’s meant to convince. It’s not just that the Dems are spinning. It’s not just that they’re trying to advocate for their point of view. It’s that they’re outright lying. They are saying things that are demonstrably untrue, and it’s not even arguable, while expecting people not to notice.
But, of course, people do notice, and even the dumbest Democrats, even Mazie Hirono and Ted Lieu, must, at some level, understand that if you keep saying things that are obviously false to people, people are going to stop listening to you. Still, having normal people listen to them doesn’t appear to be the point. These little performances appear to be directed at each other, with each of them competing to be the loudest, shrillest, and stupidest voice in the debate. We’re not the audience. Their comrades are.
But that’s okay. We’re not interested anyway. In fact, if given the choice, we would sooner go see an Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham reboot of “Wild Things.”
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