One Year Ago Today, We Watched Joe Biden's Presidency Implode on CNN
A Former Intel Official Used Seven Words to Describe the Leaked Report on...
Notice Anything Odd About What This Dem Rep Said About Trump's Air Strikes...
There's a Reason Why You Might Not Hear Much About Pew Research's 2024...
In the End, Everyone Hated the Iranian Theocracy
Shock-and-Awe 'Midnight Hammer' Iran Strike Encapsulates Trump Doctrine
Lawmakers Continue Investigating How the Gov't Is Addressing Drone Incursions on US Milita...
Broadcast Love Letters for Lisa Murkowski
The Zohran Mamdani Revolution
The Barista Proletariat Wins in New York
Frank Lloyd Wrong
Ted Cruz Shines Light on the Left’s Lawfare Machine Against American Energy
Assessments and Credibility
How China Is Engineering America’s Energy Surrender
Democrats and Their Media Allies Root Against America
OPINION
Premium

Biden Now Polling Somewhere Between Toe Fungus and The Lincoln Project

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Evan Vucci

Gosh, I was informed by all the smart people of smartness that Have A Beer Joe was a popular and beloved figure of respect and, well, that’s not a thing in the wake of Operation Craven Bugout. He’s polling worse than a fat chick with pit hair dancing to “Cherry Pie” down at the Chamomile Gazelle – oh, wrong “poling” but you get the gist.

So, what’s President Asterisk doing in Delaware every weekend? Hmmmm, I bet the most transparent *dministration in American history isn’t trying to hide something, like this crusty goon’s manifest dementia.

No One Loves Joe Anymore 

Well, the polls are in and what do you know? Americans don’t enjoy being utterly humiliated in public, which explains why the Bulwark staff always seems out of step with normal people. Watching Biden and his cast of bemedaled and pompous nincompoops fumble around like a pack of monkeys trying to make love to a greasy football is not quite the confidence builder the Dems hoped going into 2022. America was promised normalcy, and on that basis they (well, maybe) voted for this bozo; now, America is wracked by nostalgia for mean tweets. If this is normal, weird is looking great.

The polls are beginning to reflect it, even the ones with +72 Democrat crosstabs. Maybe people don’t like people who suck.

Now, these polls do raise the question of who the hell are the people who think this dingus is doing just fine. He’s not just bad – he’s like bad to the nth power bad. He doesn’t just lose a war. No, any Democrat can do that. No, he’s got to abandon a bunch of Americas after promising on camera not to. Wait, you want more? Fine. His incompetence manages to get 13 of our troops killed and his chef’s kiss is babbling about his good son – who did not die in or because of a war – between bored glances at his Rolex.

Still not bad enough? How about $85 billion in weapons to the Taliban, and then unleashing his fact checker lackies to correct the record? “Ackshually, it was only $65 billion!” Phew.

Still have doubts? Let’s add murdering a bunch of loyal puppies.

And yet there are people still thinking, “Well, I guess I got his back. Here’s $5. Give me a gallon of gas.”

Now, these voters don’t really love Joe. What they love is Not Trump, and they love Not Trump as deeply and passionately as Jeffrey Toobin loves himself on a Zoom call. And what they are doing supporting Biden is what Toobin was doing on that Zoom call, except the only thing Toobin got killed was his last shreds of dignity.

Delaware Is Where It’s Safe To Get Him Checked Out

I got suspicious when Biden started going back to Delaware every weekend by choice. Who goes to Delaware voluntarily except lawyers for Fortune 500 corporations looking for a friendly legal venue? Delaware is New Jersey without the charm. You don’t go there unless it’s kicking and screaming…or if you have something to hide.

Gee, what could a creepy elderly pervert have to hide such that he would take off to America’s little toe? Maybe he’s getting visits. At the White House, they keep detailed logs of who comes in. Those are public records. Same with Camp David. But at the very expensive Biden ranch – which I assume he bought on his public servant’s salary? Let’s just say he has a certain flexibility being out of the spotlight.

Now, who might come see this drooling mound of animated dust? 

Maybe skeevy foreigners eager to lay their 10 percent on him. Nah, that would require Hunter’s presence and he’s busy with his new career as a respected artist. Of course, his canvas is random hookers and strippers.

Maybe it’s the stripper baby grandkid? Nah, that’s the one kid grabby McTouch Toomuch has shown zero interest in.

I know. It’s his corps of competent, intelligent, and successful advisors who have helped him become the superstar winner that have made him beloved and respected by all.

No, not that.

Gee, is it a doctor? A doctor that his other treating doctor, Dr. Jill, doesn’t want everyone knowing about? You know, like a head doctor?

Now, I’m not saying that there are rumors floating about that His Incompetenceness goes back to Delaware every weekend for that he can be secretly – and apparently ineffectively – treated for his rapidly accelerating dementia by doctors who can avoid signing in and remain the Bidens’ crusty little secret. I am also not not saying that such rumors are flying about.

I am, however, looking forward to a couple years down the road when it becomes apparent that everyone always knew this guy was losing it. If you need any more reason to hate our garbage elite, this pathetic spectacle of a mediocre man going down the tubes with nary a word is it.

***

The sixth Kelly Turnbull conservative action thriller, The Split, shows what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. Get all six bestsellers, including People's RepublicIndian CountryWildfireCollapse, and Crisis!

My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com.

Recommended

Trending on Townhall Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement