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OPINION
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Greg Abbott Is Costello: Stop Screwing Up

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Tom Fox/The Dallas Morning News via AP, Pool

I’m always amazed when people choose to fail. Exhibit A is Greg Abbott, who I used to admire and who now I just want to go away. What happened to this guy? He got lazy and failed to realize what time it is. He’s no longer Abbott – he’s Costello, the goof, and he’s got no idea that Who’s on first. His screw-ups put Texas at risk.

Also, no one cares about the Oscars. That’s because the Oscars don’t care about us.

Finally, there was a Woody Allen documentary, and the end result is you should hate everyone involved. It shines a light on our alleged betters, and it’s ugly.

The Fall Of Greg Abbott

Once upon a time there was this red state that was an economic miracle and it was a beacon of freedom and its governor was squared away and now there’s the shambling mound that once was Texas misruled by Governor Greg Abbott.

It’s not just the total botch of the deep freeze a few weeks ago. That was bad, but there’s plenty of blame to go around, except the captain of the ship is always responsible, fair or not, and it was a massive bungle. There’s no getting around it. But that’s not the worst thing.

There’s his utterly idiotic nod to the cancel creeps over at Gab in which, for no reason at all, he picked up and ran with the slander that Gab is some sort of anti-Semitic cesspool because it refuses to censor people. It’s astonishing that someone in Abbott’s position would be so unwoke as to buy into a liberal lie like that. If you don’t know you never go along with them, you have failed ConservaWoke 101, he decided to do so for some reason, and ended up trashing a lot of conservatives by association. And for what? Did a single lefty anywhere say, “Gee, this Greg Abbott seems nice, so henceforth I will like him and not call him a racist”?

No. He hurt his own side by perpetuating lies and got nothing in return. Stupid, but not that’s the worst thing.

The worst thing is this nominal head of the Texas GOP seems to be fiddling with himself while his own Rome burns. Texas should be a bastion of conservatism and it is moving blue, and it is all his fault.

BUT MUH DEMOGRAPHICS!

Oh baloney. Trump scored higher with Latino males. And many of those Californian expatriates are conservatives fleeing what the defecating hobos have made the golden-brown state. Texans did not suddenly love communism. There is no inevitability to Texas turning purple. No loudmouth furry should be nearly able to topple a senator. What happened? The Texas GOP under Abbott got fat and stupid and lazy. 

Is the party organizing? Is it relevant? No. If someone moves into a neighborhood, is the Texas GOP knocking on the door of the newcomers to invite them to join the party that won’t make the same mistakes as the place the newcomers came from did? No.

Abbott needs to get his Schiff together before Matthew McConaughey comes in pretending to be conservativish and wins the governorship. But Abbott won’t, because he’s arrogant and surrounded by stupid advisors who he inexplicably listens to. 

He’s a train wreck. And, being from California, I know a train wreck governor when I see one.

Oh, and he imagines he’ll be viable in the next election. Maybe he can be Nikki!’s veep. That could totally happen in an alternative universe where he wasn’t doing a lousy job. But not here.

Oscars Smoshcars

If you are old like me you remember when there were like three networks and how everyone gathered around the TV and watched the Oscars. Everyone. It was a unifying cultural event, and one of the reasons is that everyone had seen the nominated movies. Not the weird short subjects or foreign films, but the Best Picture movies were ones you had heard of and probably seen. So had everyone. So it was fun, and largely (though never completely) lib voguing-free.

Not so much anymore. Behold – here are the obscure Best Picture nominees for 2021:

The Trial of the Chicago 7

The Father

Minari

Nomadland

Mank

Promising Young Woman

Judas And The Black Messiah

Sound of Metal

Nope, not ringing a bell. 

I am vaguely aware some of these films exist, but have I seen them? Not a one, and I do not intend to change that. A docudrama about a bunch of leftist “heroes” from the '60s? Good luck. I barely have any idea what the rest might be about. The Promising Young Woman one, I think, is some sort of grrrl power thing. It will have to power itself. Minari – is that related to the giant moth that fights Godzilla? I might watch that. The rest – who the hell cares.

Way to niche yourself, Hollywood.

Oh, and it’s all woke. All the Twitter twits were talking about was the immutable characteristics of the nominees. Now, just because most of us have no idea what any of these movies are does not mean it’s not a big deal for the filmmakers. It is. Congratulations! And imagine that at this special moment all your hard work gets boiled down to where your grandpa came from or whether you sit to pee?

What garbage.

But hey, if this institution wants to keep destroying itself by niching its product into irrelevance, be my guest. I’m in burn-it-all-down mode, and the people doing it for me are the ones running these garbage institutions themselves.

Keep it up, jerks.

Woody Allen And The Rest Are Gross

So, for our sins we watched the documentary on HBO that accuses Allen of molesting a little kid. Now, we know he did have relations with his girlfriend’s underage adopted daughter before marrying her, so it’s not so much what he did but rather the timeline. I don’t think they proved beyond a reasonable doubt Allen molested the little kid, just the older one. I also think they proved that Mia Farrow has epically bad judgment and that the entire limo lib milieu they operated in is appalling and gross.

Also, Ronan Farrow, purportedly Allen’s bio son, looks an awful lot like Frank Sinatra and not much like the nebbish.

It’s all so nasty. And what’s really interesting about it is that these are our cultural betters, according to them. New Yorkers, rich, sophisticated – he’s an artiste, ya know – and all very, very liberal. All super woke. And all utterly morally bankrupt and creepy.

These are our betters?

We need better betters.

Like I said, I’m in burn-it-all-down mode, and these people keep handing me the matches.

My newest Kelly Turnbull action thriller Crisis places the capitol of the USA in Texas. Check out my other four novels about what happens when America splits into red and blue countries, People's Republic, Indian Country,Wildfireand Collapse

My super-secret e-mail address is kurt.schlichter@Townhall.com.

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