Did You Catch Axios' Recent Headlines About the Boulder Terror Attack? Who's Running...
CNN's Panel on Antisemitism Was a Total Trainwreck
Reporter Gave a Laughable Reason for Why We Can't Trust Polls Now
I'm Not So Sure Bill Clinton Is the Person to Lead Point on...
CBS News' Margaret Brennan Got Wrecked By Scott Bessent and Marty Makary Over...
Watch Scott Jennings Obliterate a Reporter Over Her 'Both Sides' Nonsense on Political...
Here's What You Should Know About Mohamad Soliman
Jewish Americans Can No Longer Afford to Be Unarmed
Sanctuary States, Sleeper Cells, and a Nation on the Brink
Supreme Court Takes Up Key Election Law Case
White House Shuts Down One of the 'Most Disgusting Lies' Being Spread About...
Hey You, Get Off My Crowd
Two People Rescued After Plane Crashes Off the Coast of Connecticut
Marco Rubio Has a Warning for 'All Terrorists'
This Transgender Athlete Shared This Flippant Response After Dominating a Women's Race
OPINION

Who Is Bill Maher In The Anti-Woke Avengers?

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
Charles Sykes/Invision/AP, File

Although the 2022 election promises to be the biggest bloodbath in a century for Democrats, there is a lot of cause to feel grim nowadays. 

Wokeness – a violent, godless religion – has permeated all levels of society, including traditional religious organizations that should know better. The Democrats have run our once-great cities into the ground with smiles on their faces. Our universities are communist madrassas. Corporate America has taken sides not just against the conservatives who always defended them, but – in selling out to China – against America too. 

Advertisement

However, as dark as things are looking, fate seems to have brought together a group of remarkable people to fight the battles that we never could: namely, the Anti-Woke Avengers. 

Elon Musk is the de facto front-man of the AWA. Time Magazine’s Person of the Year and one of the richest men in the world, Musk recently said that, “At its heart, wokeness is divisive, exclusionary, and hateful. It basically gives mean people a reason – it gives them a shield to be mean and cruel armored in false virtue.” The billionaire-philanthropist tech genius has described himself as “nauseatingly pro-American.” He’s got to be the Iron Man of the group. (And of course, if Musk is Iron Man, then tech-tyrant Jeff Bezos is absolutely Dr. Doom.) 

Joe Rogan, who became a celebrity by hosting a show about eating bugs, has somehow become the most influential member of the media. His daily audience is 10 to 15 times bigger than CNN’s. He’s a mountain of muscles and electrifies the airwaves? Gotta be Thor. 

While in the face of woke blasphemy every (good) comedian has had to become conservative, Dave Chapelle seems to be the tip of the spear. He refuses to apologize for stating basic biological facts, makes fun of Jussie Smollet, and famously says, “The First Amendment is first for a reason. Second Amendment is just in case the first one doesn't work out.” Loves America, good sense of humor, adds some (ahem) nice diversity? Let’s call him War Machine. Steve Harvey, who’s almost as good, can be Falcon. 

Advertisement

J.K. Rowling has earned the ire of the woke crowd for – get this – insisting male sex offenders shouldn’t be put in women’s prisons simply because they lied on a form. She quotes 1984 in woketarians’ faces. While other woke billionaires “donate” their fortunes to “non-profits” as a way to reinforce their empires and avoid paying taxes, Jo is probably the only person on Earth who gave so much away she stopped being a billionaire. For obvious reasons, let’s call her the Scarlet Witch. 

Jordan Peterson has more genuine intellectual strength than every other academic in Canada combined – though that may not be saying much. He’s a guy who has spent his life avoiding fights because he knows he’ll win. (Ask Cathy Newman about that.) Both the strongest and the smartest here, I think we can call him both The Hulk and Bruce Banner. 

Russell Brand was a mediocre comedian who told fairly obvious anti-Bush jokes 15 years ago, but has somehow become the voice of reason for both conservatives and traditional liberals. He has almost 5 million subscribers on YouTube as of this writing. Dark-haired British bad-boy who turns good? Brand is Loki. 

Dr. Mehmet Oz is a charismatic surgeon who learned his craft in an exotic land. He’s Dr. Strange. I don’t know if he’s friends with the Dalai Lama – who pushes back on dishonest, sinister globalist replacement strategies – but the Tibetan mystic could be the Ancient One. Of course, in our Anti-Woke Avengers, we don’t worry about sucking up to China, so we don’t need to whitewash the Ancient One like Disney did

Advertisement

The tricky part here is what to do with Vladimir Putin. Putin has spent the last 20 years getting away with whatever mischief he wanted to while Western Europe and North America kept the world running. You want to call him the villain Thanos, especially with the baldness, but – at some point – he realized Western Civilization was in trouble and has changed course. 

So then the question is what to do with Bill Maher. He’s certainly no conservative, but in recent years – by defending basic reason and virtue – he’s somehow become a friend to them. He’s attacked radical political correctness, woke fundamentalism, and ridiculous COVID overreaches. Bill has confessed that red states are better run than blue states. And he’s even adopted the catch-phrase “You can’t cancel the truth!"

He’s gotten so sensible that MSNBC even did a hit piece on him! That’s when you know you’re pointed in the right direction. So given that he’s a wisecracker with a troubled past who’s somehow managed to grow to the right size when things get tough, let’s call him Ant-Man.

The current political climate should be at the very least troubling for anyone paying attention, but it is certainly not hopeless. Luckily, the Anti-Woke Avengers understand what is at stake. 

Oh, and as for Captain America? Well, I think we all know who he is. 

Advertisement

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Townhall Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement