We all know there are drugs on college campuses. At Penn State, there was allegedly a full-blown cocaine ring, and the kingpin’s name is what’s going viral. He recently surrendered to authorities. If there is strong consensus on that point, first, the backstory (via ABC 7 NY):

Fourteen people are facing charges in connection with an alleged cocaine-trafficking operation at Penn State University, Pennsylvania Attorney General Dave Sunday announced on Monday.

The AG's office says 13 of the defendants were students at the time this happened in 2023 and 2024. The 14th defendant, the father of one of the students, who is accused of hiding drugs and cash in a safe.

Authorities say at least four of the individuals charged are current students.

Investigators allege that senior fraternity members Agostino Abbatiello and Thomas Robinson were the leaders of the operation, supplying cocaine, while others cut and packaged the drugs primarily at the Delta Upsilon and Sigma Chi fraternity houses.

Fourteen people have been charged in connection with an alleged cocaine trafficking ring tied to Penn State University frats Delta Upsilon and Sigma Chi.

And finally, the guy — meet “Pablo Pledgescobar.”

He should be released based on that name alone. I’m sorry.